Girl Thinks She Can Fix Her Man (Abusive Boyfriend Edition)

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Comment (26)

  1. Guys like this never ever change and they aren't worth the trouble. I had dated someone like him for 2 years the best thing you can do which I regretfully didn't because of fear is get out and get a restraining order.

  2. To both, is it possible, yeah. Therapy tends to emphasize keeping the status quo in every other aspect of life during treatment. In cases of Physical abuse, Hell no. as to you're point of leaving, easier said then done, I don't really believe she's full stockholm yet, but rather a wish for better times is keeping her in that relationship. Humanity tends to be stupid, because they believe lies, Either because they want to believe they're true. Or because they fear it to be true.

  3. As a domestic violence survivor…. Do you know what its like to be threatened w/more violence? If you leave there is no guarantee of safety. A restraining order is just a piece of paper. It doesnt always stop the abuser. Its toxic. They dont care about a paper. They find a way no matter what. He has a chance to heal? Did i hear that right?

    Ps: i was w/my abuser for 12yrs. Went back all the time until enough is enough. Co-dependency. Gotta be sick & tired of being beaten whether emotionally, verbally, physically etc.

    This episode was ALLLLLLL about him. How about what shes went through?

  4. In my opinion, one of the worst parts about intimately abusive situations is that the victim usually developed what’s called Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. One of the main symptoms being a high rate of revictimization. I hope she gets the treatment she needs so she can be with someone that actually deserves her.

  5. I feel that Dr. Phil is pretty exploitative as it is, but at least he's a professional trying to help. Your commentary doesn't add any context or useful information, you're just… Reacting? To abuse? It's voyeuristic at best, and at worst you're just being invasive and victim blaming.

    BTW the 'mental age of an addict' thing is bunk, Dr Phil is more of a TV personality than a legitimate Doctor. He doesn't know what he's talking about a lot of the time. He seriously needs to update some of his info. TBH science updates so often all doctors should be required to take a course on new studies like every five years or smth.

  6. now you have 2k subs. geezus dude. u making all the right moves. good thing you switch to drama and hot topics from technology. it's . been less than a month. you went from a few hundred to 1.2k to now 2.4k. good 4 you

  7. Abusers aren't right in the head, but neither are the victims. They're traumatized, so their mind then starts to operate differently. I've seen very strong independent women get broken down from abuse. It's not easy when you aren't in the situation, looking from the outside, bc everything is obvious. But abuse victims rarely get abused from day 1. It's gradual. It's name calling, then apologizing. Then it's accusing victim of things, then apologizing. Then it's gaslighting, and then apologizing. Then it's one drunken night winding up with the victim getting hit and/or raped, then it's apologizing. Then the hitting and rape becomes regular, and so do the apologies. Then the apologies become rarer, and the abuse goes on. The victim is isolated and has no self esteem and can't even trust their own thoughts. It's terrifying honestly.

  8. Okay honestly if a whoever you are dating says they will kill you, don't assume it's just talk. I did and it was an ugly, toxic relationship. It was all the abusive types. Emotional, physical, mental, and sexual. It ended in a horrible mess of me blaming myself, fractured bones/bruises/burns/cuts, and a sexual assault. It's been 6 years since and I still flinch away from people who I know without a doubt won't hurt me. Everyone needs to know the signs of an abusive relationship.

    Once that man put his hands on her that's it. Done. She shouldn't contact him, he shouldn't contact her. He needs to let her go so she can be happy and he needs to get help for himself if that's what he really wants. Easier said than done unfortunately.

  9. They need to break up, any form of abuse is not ok. I was in 2 abusive relationships, not physical abuse necessarily but I had emotional and financial abuse. It took me a year to break it off with both of them. It is definitely like a Stockholm syndrome kind of scenario where you feel like you can’t leave because of how manipulative and intimidating they are, it’s not just that though… I bet the physical abuse comes with verbal abuse, I bet he says to her that it’s her fault that he’s like this and he makes her feel like it’s her fault and responsibility to fix him. I can understand why she doesn’t want to leave and why she feels like it’s her job to fix him, but unfortunately that kind of psychotic behavior can’t be fixed by some girl.

  10. I think they should break up until BOTH got help and are better. Both have to concentrate on themselves and heal. The girl definitely also needs help psychologically to deal with what she went through with him. If he really loved her he would have to go further than “just“ anger management, like you said. They both seem like teenagers who don't know their place in the world and get overwhelmed

  11. In my experience, once an abuser always an abuser. Ive never been in a relationship like that but growing up i saw my mom go through an abusive partner. Anyone who beats a woman, or a man, it can go both ways, in my opinion dont deserve a second chance.

  12. They are both extremely toxic people who need help, not just him. He is the overt perpetrator and she's covert. They're both codependent and toxic for one another, which is often a common killer of relationships.

  13. I just got out of a marriage where it was similar, emotionally. Yes it's difficult to get out and the only reason I got out was because he kicked me and my daughter out. A lot of what you said was correct though about the stockholm syndrome kinda thing. Like you convince yourself this is what you wanted and you stay because of it. I would have stayed forever. He finally realized that he was hurting me and told me to go because he "loves me" and wants me to be happy. On the other side now, I am so much happier. I didn't think he was capable of love, but part of me thinks that maybe some part of him meant that whole letting me go because he loved me. Idk.

  14. Having been in a very similar position in my early 20s, I can't understand why she would even give him another chance. She's there with so much support and being given clear truths, now is the time to walk away. A few weeks away with a clear head and he'll no longer have the control over her that he clearly has. It's sad really. I honestly hope he gets some help so he doesn't put another girl in her situation, but she needs to get some help too in order to recover from the abuse and move on to a healthy relationship in the future.

  15. I think it'd be best for them to split up. But like you said, it's easier to see from the outside when it comes to these kinds of relationships. One saying I often think about for this is the "love is blind" one. When one party knows that what the other is doing is wrong and that they should leave, it can be something emotional keeping them there, or they leave only to come back, sometimes from guilt. The abused party could be going through it with good intentions of wanting to help, but it's not really something that they can fix without the help from professionals. It just makes me remember a friend of mine who was in a abusive relationship. Even with me pointing out obvious things, she didn't really want to believe me even though she said she didn't think I was lying to her.
    It's a messy situation to find yourself in. But no I don't think that girl has Stockholm syndrom or anything like that. I thik it's just her liking a guy that abuses her, but she's either afraid to leave him or feeling guilty and wants to stay so she can try to help him.

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